CSI; EAT

PACKAGING;

In a word, poor. In a paragraph, the font is blocky, and although it's red it smacks of a warning sign in a disused bus shelter. No snowflakes or anything, just one Christmas tree. There are more Christmas trees along the side, and they're designed to make you think they're cuter than they are. It's the classic technique used by teachers who paint the sets of the nativity themselves, but kind of use a mental kiddy-filter, and make them a bit crappy so parents think their little cherubs have an artistic streak. "Woah, Ben, that is a brilliant Christmas Tree!" Sorry, Mr Johnson, your Ben was too busy putting straws up his nose, the teacher drew this.

3

DEPTH;

Bit of centre loading, but I can see everything and it all looks decent. A LOT of stuffing thickness to the East of the southern sandwich, but that's fine. I think there's been a slicer malfunction here. There's a bit of green, but it's not being used as sandwich botox. It's an afterthought. One I wish wasnt there, but it wont affect the marks at this point. Club biscuit, mug of milk and I'm done till tea time.

7

RATIO;

Mixed emotions, initially. A lot of stuffing here present. It looks good quality, but with the amount of turkey and ham, maybe slightly misjudged. However, in the other segment of the sandwich, this is addressed and looks far more reassuring. On inspection of the second half of the sandwich, I refer to the box; 20% turkey, 14% stuffing, 10% ham. This is as close as can be to the 4:3:2 perfect ratio as I've ever seen. Well done, EAT, you've given me some semblance of self worth. Like all this hasnt been a waste of time. But why'd you put lettuce in?

8

OVERALL FLAVOUR;

Bite. Initially, because of the stuffing mistake, I get punched on the mouthpiece by stuffing. And it's nice, but it's too much. Like Ant and Dec. Second bite comes in and it's better- less stuffing, and the turkey and ham swagger into the oral bowling alley, giving high fives to adoring tastebuds and maybe kissing the odd one on the cheek. Lettuce limps in to ruin the party, but he's drowned out soon enough. There's a great smokiness to the ham, but it's gone too soon. But the second half of the sandwich, as hinted in the ratio, it sings. It's wonderful. When everything in this sandwich is aligned, it's really good. The lettuce is as welcome as Mitt Romney at Germaine Greer's house, but it doesn't spoil it. This sandwich is an accurate assembly away from being close to perfect.

16

12 SANDWICHES OF CHRISTMAS SCORING;

FESTIVITY; 3

FILLING; 7.5

FLAVOUR; 8

OVERALL- 6.1

CONCLUSION;

This is a good sandwich and like many of the classier outfits, they're too lazy to package it nicely. But in terms of flavour, this chap will be hard to beat.