CSI; WAITROSE

FESTIVITY OF PACKAGING;

I'm thrown a little by this. It's outside what I'd normally consider "festive", but I like it. Red and green are proper Christmas colours, classically, and it looks like a woolly stocking. I have a heart of stone (and kidneys full of them thanks to these reviews), but even I am not unmoved by this. There are even woolen snowflakes, which, if on a non-woolen motif, would still register points. They've used a nice joined up font for the word "Christmas", again dotting the "i" with a star, but the rest of the font looks a bit like signage at a municipal swimming pool somewhere in the former Soviet Republic. A curve ball. Hard to score. But I've managed it.

7

DEPTH OF FILLING;

Straddling the area between reasonable and reasonable. Mostly everything visible and stretches to both extremities of the sandwich. I am pretty disappointed by the green in evidence, but encouraged by the layer of cranberry red. Perhaps they wanted to recreate the colour scheme from the packaging. Which is stupid of them. Seems to be enough to turkey here, but not sure about where the stuffing's at. Hmmm. Snack snize Mars bar or a snack size Mars bar AND a fun size Mars bar. Or just a Mars bar.

7

RATIO OF FILLING;

Even in the realms of spinach, there is far too much spinach. Even if this had been advertised as a spinach sandwich, there is still more spinach than is reasonably needed in any meal. There is plenty of gobble-bird. It's sort of been shredded from the looks of things. I like the thinking behind this, as in terms of moistness, thick slabs of the bird are far harder to lather up in your mouthpiece. Even with this in mind, there's a decent amount of cranberry redness. The bacon is a cause for concern. That bacon is irrelevant looking, slightly anaemic. Maybe that's why they rammed in a load of spinach, to get the pig's iron levels up. The pig's dead already, James Herriot. What were you thinking?

6

OVERALL FLAVOUR;

Bite. The turkey and stuffing embark on a relationship on my tongue. They get on well and I am hopeful for their future. There's a decent level of wetness, supplied by a red and white combo of cranberry and mayo. It doesn't last though, and soon there's a certain pleasant dryness to the chew, like an ambient conservatory in the spring. I wish for more of the sweetness of the cranberry, but it's not forthcoming. The stuffing is good and, oddly, the spinach is nothing more than a texture. It's not unpleasant, but it is completely unnecessary. Like the ones that aren't Beyonce in Destiny's Child. The bacon stays away for the most part, as if it doesn't want to be a gooseberry around the turkey and stuffing. As I get through the sandwich, it emerges as a pretty bland experience. It's a pleasant enough sandwich, but it's not Christmassy enough. There's no joy to it. It's a stoic, quiet sandwich, happy to be the sandwich hastily eaten in the Chelsea tractor before the kids have to be picked up from swimming. Almost exactly what you'd expect from Waitrose.

13

12 SANDWICHES OF CHRISTMAS SCORING;

FESTIVITY; 7
FILLING; 6.5
FLAVOUR; 6.5

OVERALL; 6.6

An uninspiring Sandwich from Waitrose. You might feel inspired to shrug your shoulders. Or to have a yoghurt. But that's it.